Curly Morris

Amazing GOP logic

In Politics on July 30, 2008 at 3:50 pm

Look, I don’t have any particular love for the Democratic party. I’ve always felt as though they pandered to the black community for votes by creating this facade that it is their party only that has the welfare and well being of minorities in their platform.

The Republicans have of course helped exacerbate that stereotype by electing blatant racists to key positions in their party and by assimilating with obvious bigots like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O Reilly.

Still, both policy wise and politically, it has been the GOP that throughout history has created more opportunities for black Americans than their Democratic counterparts (don’t believe me? do some research), and still this underlying feeling that members of the GOP are an elitist group that has no concern for any of our nations underclass does not seem to want to dissolve as the party and it’s presumptive nominee continue to make decisions that border on lunacy and then support those decisions with the most asinine justifications that you could possibly imagine coming from the mouths of supposed intelligent people.

Imagine this scenario:

You are in your kitchen cooking dinner and you need to chop up an onion. Instead of using the “onion chopper” you just bought at your local Dollar Tree, you decide instead to go with the 12 inch butcher knife.

Of course you inevitably cut one or more of your fingers and are eventually forced to do something to stop the bleeding. Yet instead of dealing with the blood that is trickling all over your hands and onions, you decide to keep chopping and of course you cut yourself some more. Your spouse walks in and sees all the blood and notices that you are cutting miniscule pieces of onion wit a butcher’s knife and inquires as to why you will not use the aforementioned “onion cutter”. Because you have no logical answer you respond:

This onion was the key ingredient to this meal and I needed the biggest most powerful knife to ensure that it was cut properly.”

Your wife immediately recognizes your lunacy, but realizes that you are indeed holding a huge butcher knife so she humbly plays the background.

“You should at least put something on your hands for the cuts.” she advises.

You grumble something about how she isn’t committed to this family and grab a few paper towels to wrap around your cuts. Of course now there is blood all over the kitchen counter and it’s certain to get on all the other food and the fact that if you had only used the appropriate tool to begin with your meal would stood a much better chance of being “bloodless” seems to have escaped you altogether.

Two minutes after grabbing the paper towels you, and your wife, notice that there is still blood leaking onto the counter and you are having so much trouble chopping onions with a butcher knife that the other parts of the meal are just lying around the kitchen getting blood all over them and you haven’t even started attending to those items, some of which are much more importatnt to the overall meal than these stupid little onions bits you insist on chopping (in fact you have onion powder in the cabinet!).

You really need to do something about the bleeding.” she adds

You inform her that she obviously doesn’t understand the importance of onions to this meal but if it would keep her quiet you’ll put some bandaids on the cuts…surely they’ll stop the bleeding.

You leave the kitchen and head to the bathroom only to return with two boxes of bandaids, one box has little small bandaids made especially for fingers and toes and the other box has huge bandaids for gaping wounds. She tells you that the small bandaids should do the trick. Your response:

“No, you insisted I use a bandaid so I’m gonna use the big bandaids to make sure there’s no more blood for you to complain about!”

One minute after covering your hands in huge gaudy bandaids, the bleeding does in fact stop and you triumphantly turn to your wife and say:

“Aha! I told you these big bandaids would work! Mission accomplished!”

Your wife sighs, turns and walks away, leaving you standing there with your butcher knife, onion bits and bandaided hands with a ridiculous sense of accomplishment.

The moral of this story is:

Of course the big bandaids worked you dumb ass, but why the hell were you cutting onion with a butcher knife in the first place!

You see, this is analogy is how intelligent people view the war in Iraq and the subsequent surge that the Bush administration and now John McCain are so fond of touting as their major accomplishment since Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” moment five years ago!

Of course the surge worked…but did we really have to wait for over 3,500 soldiers to die before you sent more troops? Does that really justify the fact that since Al Queda was primarily stationed in Afghanistan and the supposed 19 hijackers from 9/11 were from Saudi Arabia that we should have never invaded Iraq to begin with? Has the Bush administration completely forgotten about the individual who they blamed this entire mess on to start with, Osama Bin Laden?

Has the GOP lost all sense of reality and common sense?

Are Republicans too stubborn to admit that they were/are wrong?


  1. Why isnt Barack Obama opening up a huge lead on John McCain?

    All the factors point to a very large Obama win but its not materializing.

    I would really like you to come to

    and post why you think this lead isn’t coming to past. Can anyone explain this ? Give it a shot

  2. I think it’s because for every highly vocal, ecstatic, exuberant Obama supporter, there is at least 1 if not 2 reserved and quiet McCain supporters that are’t interested in hype

  3. On both sides of the aisle these two candidates offer little of substance. It’s all style and very little else. And this is what this nation supposedly has as to the best that’s on offer by way of the candidates ? If so it’s a damning indictment of what’s wrong with the political climate here.
    Both are way out of touch when it comes to each and every facet as to the ills of the country, be it domestic , economic to overall foreign policy.

    tophatal …………

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